In the city

The following is increasingly uncomfortable. I can’t turn back. I don’t want to go on. I have limped along at a distance through the maze of twisted streets, half hoping not to be noticed. I’ve been climbing on my hands and knees behind him, cursing this narrow path, praying for escape. For in the fearful ascent I have been uncovered for who I truly am. I have travelled the road and it leads to the place of the skull. Standing unclothed I am the laughingstock of my closest friends and deepest enemies. The sudden and shaming revealing of self hits me hard in the pit of my stomach. The light pierces and burns, illuminating corrupted flesh and a calloused heart. My punishment is all around me. Yet in this shame there is a grace, for I have not been left here to decay. So I submit to the pain of uncovering. Here humiliation is mercy, for though I have fallen, it is not over the precipice, close as I have been groping to the edge. I have stumbled over Jesus himself, and in the fall is my salvation.


Journey to Jerusalem

Trampled leaves lay a path into the city. Bleeding palms and torn garments are what is left of a triumphant entry, and now the dusk descends. The city is full of shadows and night voices. I’ve never been here in the dark before. I jump at what I think is a soldier or vagabond around the corner, but it is only an old rooster scratching the stony ground. I’m not sure I want to follow this man, but I know I’ll get lost here if I don’t. The streets are so narrow I hardly know if I’m staggering upwards or stumbling down. I smell bread baking, women roasting lamb, roses growing in thorny gardens. I do not yet understand what this journey means.

Left under a black sky all I see is my own heart. I am uncomfortable with silence, for it brings out aortic wars I have long suppressed. My feet are weary of the blind struggle, but I know I must go on. What I fear most is the journey into myself.



What if we gave our bread away? If we broke our gluttoned souls and opened our carbohydrate wallets, would we all have enough to eat? While we argue over substance change, starvation whispers in desperate stomachs. Have we reached a point where thankfulness becomes selfishness and we hoard our eucharist in hallowed arks, not seeing how it rots in our fat hands? We are fine kings and priests who gorge ourselves at the banquet table and brush our crumbs into the highways and hedges of human existence. We are growing moldy. Is this his body?



I am searching for simplicity

The stripping of sin and selfishness
My heart is cluttered with the pursuit of happiness
I must first pursue what is pure
I am searching for clarity
The moment of intimate wisdom
Self-deception is an art I have perfected
Fear and grace bring me to honesty
I am searching for direction
The rising mist on the early morning path
Is it pride or timidity that holds me back
When all I hear are echoes of a calling
I am searching for Jesus
The unveiling of cloudy eyes
My senses are dulled by my own drowsiness
I need nothing less than death and resurrection

Take Off My Shoes

This is one of my favourite Delirious songs.

I’ll take off my shoes, I’m coming in

Untie this rope, I’m staying with him
Love of my life, I’ll live and die
Just for the moments for my king and I
Why did you call, why did you wait
For someone so guilty, someone so fake
There are no words for my beautiful song
Now I’m in the arms of my beautiful one
Hold me, blow all the pride from my bones
with your fire
Hold me, breathe on this heart made of stone
make it pure
Hold me, saviour of heaven and earth
king forever
Hold me, love of my life lead me on
through the fire
lead me on
I’ll take off this crown, and fall at your feet
The secret of joy are the moments we meet
How could a man with all of your fame
Pull me from darkness and call me by name
So hold me today, as I carry your cross
Into the desert to find who is lost
Look at my hands, they’re still full of faith
God keep them clean till we finish the race
Hold me, blow all the pride from my bones
with your fire
Hold me, breath on this heart made of stone
make it pure
Hold me, saviour of heaven and earth
king forever
Hold me, love of my life lead me on
through your fire
lead me on…
I hear you singing, I hear you singing
Stand up and be strong
You gotta finish, finish
We’ve gotta finish, finish
I love you
I’ll take off this crown and fall at your feet
So hold me
~Delirious (Mission Bell, 2005)